Motherhood Part 3

Mother's Day Gift May 2008

Motherhood Part 3

On May 12, 2007 I became the wife of Tim Whaley, the Step-Mother to Josh Whaley and, the Mother-In-Law to Christina Whaley. I was so excited by all the possibilities that came with all of those titles. My Mom thought it was hilarious that I was becoming a mother-in-law. The title made me feel old at first, but knowing I was going to be one to Christina made me feel good. It made me want to be the best mother–in- law ever. I was also very excited to be a step-mother. When people would ask me if I had any kids, I could finally say yes!

There were only ten years difference in my age and “the kids” as I would often refer to them. Josh & Christina accepted me immediately. They would come over at least once every 4 to 6 weeks to hang out at our house. We would all watch some movies together and “the kids” had a Nintendo Wii that they would bring for us to play sometimes. Tim & Josh had a way of disappearing to the office to get on the computer, which always left plenty of time for me and Christina to talk.

In between visits there were phone calls and emails. I always looked forward to emails from Josh. He would always get sent the funniest emails I had ever seen and he would pass them on to us. We were a happy family of 4. I often thought about the possibility of becoming a grandmother down the road, when they were ready of course. It was an exciting possibility.

My greatest treasure came during Mother’s Day weekend 2008. Josh had to work on Sundays, so they called and asked if they could come by the Saturday before Mother’s Day. I honestly didn’t think much about it, I figured they were stopping by to see their mothers, and they must be trying to squeeze in a visit to us as well. They lived somewhere between 45 minutes to an hour away. So it wasn’t unusual for them to come by if they were in town to see their other parents all on the same day. However, this day would be different. Not long after getting in the house they handed me a bag and a card and said “Happy Mother’s Day.” I was absolutely shocked. I didn’t expect anything from them for Mother’s Day. As I read the card I teared up. Inside they had written that there was plenty of room in their lives for another Mother and they were happy to have me in their lives. I was absolutely speechless! Inside the bag I found the most beautiful fairy.

Ten years ago in 1997 I thought I was taking away all my chances of motherhood when I had my surgery. In the space of ten years I had become an aunt, a mother to a basset hound, and then I was actually called a Mom. Sadly on May 20, 2009 my marriage to Tim will be officially over. So far I have been able to stay in contact with Christina through phone calls and text messages. I’m scared of losing them, but it is to be expected. However, I don’t think I’ll ever lose their friendship. Now, I guess I’ll just sit back and see what God has in store for me in the future.

EJ

Motherhood Part Two

“When one door closes, another opens…”



Motherhood Part 2


My next phase close to motherhood came when I got married a year later. I married into a family. I married Barry, who was 9 years older than me and the youngest of 4 children. He had 2 older brothers and one sister who were all married with children. Barry made me an aunt on the day we married, and I became the aunt to 8 nieces and nephews.

When Barry and I got married we first lived with his Dad. Papa John, as he was called by the kids, picked up 4 of the grandkids after school and brought them to the house until they could be picked up by their parents. Unable to work at that time I was home and helped out when they came over after school. I would make snacks, help with homework, play Old Maid and Bingo, and get to hear all about their day at school.

As I’ve mentioned in my profile, I am a sports fanatic and luckily for me I married into a very athletic and sports oriented family. All the brothers and their sister were big athletes in their day and now their kids were too. During the fall, we would gather on Saturdays and watch the Tennessee Volunteers College football games. It was great! We would yell at the game and have a great time together.

Due to everyone's schedule, we didn't have a big Thanksgiving, so Christmas was going to be our very first big family holiday. Knowing how much the kids loved games we decided to get all of them a different board game. I can still remember all the fun we had playing games all Christmas day. Needless to say the games were a big hit. Barry kept his “cool uncle” title and I became the “cool Aunt Elizabeth.” We loved those kids and were proud to do things with them every chance we got.

When spring came, as soon as Barry would get home from work, we were out the door and headed straight to the ball fields night after night. We watched softball games and baseball games all spring and summer. All the parents had these shirts with the team logo on the front and on the back they said “Mom of #4” or “Dad of #4” but they didn’t have any for aunts or uncles. I found this really discriminating and made it known. I told them that it wasn’t fair that there weren’t shirts for the aunts and uncles we were there supporting the kids just as much as the parents. Everyone knew I was just teasing, but to my great surprise, the very next year I was presented with a specially made shirt that looked just like the ones for the parents but mine said “Aunt of #4.” I was absolutely thrilled! I still have that shirt to this day.

Being an aunt was so fulfilling. I have lots of tales I may share on later posts about being an aunt, but my main point is I might not have been able to be a “mother,” but being an aunt was very close to motherhood as you filled in every once in a while, which was very rewarding.



I dedicate this post to my nieces and nephews, in no particular order: Ryan, Justin, Josh, Justis, Lauren, Lacey, D.J. and Chase.


Motherhood to be continued…



EJ